Tristan - Fulfilled
To no surprise my life without Jesus was by no means a great time. One of the most memorable things about that time was that I was constantly lonely. I felt isolated and cut off from genuine relationships because I had the feeling like I was constantly wearing a mask, like I was this hollow shell with a little decoration of a personality on the exterior.
I was very gratefully introduced to Jesus during the short time in my childhood that I regularly went to church, putting me at around age nine. I was so excited and challenged by the speaker and wanted to learn and know this Jesus he talked so passionately about. I remember going home with the speaker in tow excited to tell my mom and dad about Jesus and the decision I had made. Though their response was not truly of joy, it was closer to indifference. I didn’t realize that at the time, but I can see that looking back now. I went about my daily life only slightly different from before, still feeling like the hollow kid I was. This went on for a very long time. Then a man by the name of Dan Boatman started, not only talking, but teaching me about Jesus around the age of 17. I was worn out and done with religion at that point because it wasn’t solving all of my problems, but this man talked about Jesus as if he was talking to a friend he had just spent the day with. I learned and I grew from that man of God’s teaching, but this time it was different. This time I learned to rely on God and trust Him. I watched God call out sins in my life and tell me how poisonous they are not only to myself, but also to those around me. Getting to know and build a relationship with the Son of God is best thing that has ever happened to me. Getting to learn about how even when bad things happen or things don’t go my way that I can still have joy because it is found in Him is such a freeing revelation. I no longer felt like that hollow, scared, insignificant little boy I was before Jesus.